Caring for elderly parents: tips, advice and where to find support

The most useful first steps when caring for an elderly parent are to ask the council for a free needs assessment, get legal and money arrangements in place, and protect your own health. After that, claim the benefits they are entitled to, arrange breaks early and review the plan whenever their needs change.

At a glance

• Ask the council for a needs assessment for your parent, and a free carer’s assessment for yourself if you are over 18.
• A lasting power of attorney can only be made while your parent still has the mental ability to make that decision.
• Check benefits: Attendance Allowance is £76.70 or £114.60 a week, and Carer’s Allowance is £86.45 a week for 35 or more hours of care.
• Get training in safe lifting and set up a simple medicines routine.
• Plan breaks and an emergency back-up before you need them.

Where do you start when a parent needs more help?

Start by finding out what help is needed and what your parent wants. Many people find it easiest to write a short list of what is getting harder, such as washing, cooking, managing medicines, shopping, getting out or remembering things. Our guides on talking to parents about care and signs an elderly parent needs care can help you raise the subject kindly.

Then contact the adult social services team at your parent’s local council and ask for a needs assessment, which is free. It sets out what support your parent may be eligible for and whether the council will arrange or help pay for it. A care needs checklist helps you prepare. Ask the GP for a medication review and a check on anything that may be affecting memory or mobility.

How do you organise the legal and money side?

Do this early, while your parent can take part. If they are over 18 and able to make these decisions, they can appoint someone they trust under a lasting power of attorney. There are two types: health and welfare, which can include decisions about moving into a care home, and property and financial affairs. It must be registered with the Office of the Public Guardian before it can be used. Read our guide to lasting power of attorney.

Without one, the family may not be able to manage a parent’s money or make formal decisions for them if they later lose capacity, and may have to apply for deputyship instead (see power of attorney or deputyship). Next, check what your parent could claim:

See Attendance Allowance, Carer’s Allowance and Pension Credit. Remember that a Carer’s Allowance claim can reduce extra payments your parent receives, so check the combined effect first.

How do you keep a parent safe and well at home?

Ask the council for an occupational therapy assessment. An occupational therapist can advise on safer ways to move around, and the council may provide equipment such as grab rails, hoists or slide sheets. See free equipment and OT assessments, falls prevention at home and key safes, alarms and telecare.

Lifting and moving

The NHS says back injuries are the most common injuries among carers and recommends training if you regularly lift or move someone. Councils may run free moving and handling courses, and can arrange training through a direct payment if they do not.

Medicines

Your parent has a right to confidentiality about their health information, so agree how involved you should be. Practical steps from the NHS include keeping medicines in one place, ideally locked away, giving them at the right time of day, asking the pharmacist about dosette boxes or reminders, and asking the GP surgery about a free structured medication review. Never give a double dose to make up for a missed one. Read about dosette boxes and medication support at home.

How do you share the load and get breaks?

Caring on your own is the fastest route to exhaustion. Options for breaks include day centres, paid carers at home, a short stay in a care home, sitting services where a volunteer keeps your parent company, and help from friends and family. The council will only fund respite after a needs assessment for your parent and a carer’s assessment for you.

• Agree who does what with siblings, and put it in writing so tasks and costs are visible.
• Write notes on routines, medicines and dos and don’ts so that someone can step in at short notice.
• Identify a back-up person for emergencies.

Our guides to respite care, emergency respite, direct payments and grants and breaks give more detail. If you live far away, read long-distance caregiving.

How do you look after yourself?

A carer’s assessment looks at how caring affects your health, work, free time and relationships. The NHS says it might lead to support such as someone taking over caring so you can take a break, gym membership, taxi fares, help with housework or gardening, or lifting training. It is free for anyone over 18, and your council can do it at the same time as your parent’s assessment. See the carer’s assessment guide.

If you are the main carer for an older person, you can have a free NHS flu vaccine if you are the main carer for an older or disabled person, or if you receive Carer’s Allowance. Tell your GP practice that you are a carer. Helplines include Carers UK on 0808 808 7777 and Age UK on 0800 678 1602, and Carers Direct on 0300 123 1053.

When is it time to think about a care home or live-in care?

Consider more support when care at home is no longer safe, you are exhausted, or your parent’s needs have outgrown what you can provide. That is not a failure. Look at when it is time for a care home, home care versus a care home and, if you are struggling, what to do when you can’t care for a parent anymore.

Frequently asked questions

What is the first thing to do when a parent needs care?

Ask their local council’s adult social services for a free needs assessment, and ask for a carer’s assessment for yourself. Talk to your parent about what matters to them and consider arranging a lasting power of attorney while they have capacity.

Can I get paid for caring for my parent?

Carer’s Allowance is £86.45 a week if you care for at least 35 hours, your earnings are £204 a week or less after tax and expenses, and your parent receives a qualifying disability benefit. Some people are paid through a direct payment.

Do I need power of attorney to help my parent?

You can help informally, but without a lasting power of attorney you may not be able to manage their money or make decisions if they lose capacity. It must be made while they can decide, and registered before use.

How many hours of caring do I need to claim Carer’s Allowance?

At least 35 hours a week. This can include helping with washing and cooking, taking your parent to appointments and managing bills and shopping. If you provide 20 hours or more but do not qualify, you may get Carer’s Credit.

Where can I get free advice as a carer?

Call Carers UK on 0808 808 7777, Age UK on 0800 678 1602 or Carers Direct on 0300 123 1053. Your council’s adult social care team and a local carers centre can also advise and arrange assessments.

Where to get help next

Read being a carer for a family member for your own rights, and key facts about unpaid carers for the wider picture. Use the funding checker to see what help your parent could receive, or look at care options on find care.

Sources

• NHS: Carer’s assessments
• NHS: Carers’ breaks and respite care
• NHS: Moving, lifting and handling someone else
• NHS: Giving someone power of attorney
• GOV.UK: Carer’s Allowance

Reviewed by The Care Panel team on 9 November 2026. This guide is general information about care in England, not legal, medical or financial advice. Rules and rates change; check with your council or an adviser before making decisions.