Dementia and incontinence often go together, particularly in the middle and later stages, but a person with dementia who starts having accidents should not simply be handed pads. Many causes can be treated or improved, from urine infections and constipation to not being able to find the toilet in time. A proper continence assessment through the GP or NHS bladder and bowel service is the right starting point.
This guide covers the common causes, practical steps at home, how to protect dignity, how to get an NHS assessment in West Sussex, the products available, and when paid carers can help.
In short: rule out medical causes first, make the toilet easy to find and reach, build a routine, protect the skin, and ask for a continence assessment before buying products.
Why do dementia and incontinence often go together?
Dementia UK explains that the part of the brain that controls the bladder and bowels can be damaged, so the person may not recognise the signals that they need to go. But incontinence in dementia is often caused, or made worse, by other things.
| Cause | Examples | What might help |
|---|---|---|
| Medical | Urine infection, constipation, prostate problems, diabetes, stroke, Parkinson’s | GP check, treatment, urine test |
| Medication | Diuretics (water tablets), some painkillers, sedatives, blood pressure medicines | Medication review with the GP or pharmacist |
| Memory and recognition | Forgetting where the toilet is, not recognising it, not understanding the urge | Signs, lighting, routine prompts |
| Mobility | Cannot get there in time, struggles with stairs or clothing | Commode, grab rails, easier clothing |
| Communication | Cannot say they need to go | Watch for non-verbal signs |
| Environment | Dark route at night, unfamiliar surroundings | Night lights, open bathroom door |
A sudden change, such as new accidents, more confusion than usual, or a strong smell to the urine, can signal a urine infection. Contact the GP promptly, as infections can make confusion much worse.
Practical steps at home
Make the toilet easy to find and use
- Put a clear picture sign on the toilet door, and leave the door open with the light on
- Use night lights on the route from bed to bathroom
- A contrasting coloured toilet seat can make the toilet easier to see
- Consider a raised toilet seat, grab rails, or a commode by the bed at night; an occupational therapist can advise, often at no cost (see our guide to free equipment and OT assessments)
- Choose clothes that are easy to undo: elasticated waists instead of buttons and zips
Build a routine
Learn the person’s natural pattern and offer the toilet at regular times, for example on waking, after meals, before going out and before bed. Dementia UK suggests prompting every couple of hours. Watch for signs such as fidgeting, pacing, pulling at clothes or getting up suddenly.
Food and drink
Cutting back on drinks is a common mistake. Dehydration concentrates urine, irritates the bladder, causes constipation and raises the risk of infection. Encourage regular drinks through the day, reduce drinks in the last couple of hours before bed, and cut down on caffeine. Fibre, fruit, vegetables and activity help prevent constipation.
Look after the skin
Wash promptly after an accident with warm water and a mild, unperfumed cleanser, pat dry carefully, and check for redness or sores. Use barrier creams sparingly, as they can reduce how well pads absorb. Report broken skin to the GP or district nurse.
Protecting dignity
Incontinence can be deeply embarrassing, and how you respond makes a big difference to the person’s wellbeing and to whether they accept help next time.
- Stay calm and matter-of-fact. Never scold or show disgust.
- Use the words the person uses, and listen for phrases that may mean they need the toilet.
- Deal with accidents quietly and privately, and offer choice about what to wear.
- Where possible, respect preferences about the gender of the person helping.
- Let them do as much as they can for themselves.
Our guide to dignity in personal care covers this in more depth.
How to get a continence assessment in West Sussex
Start with the GP, who can check for infection, constipation and medication issues and refer on. A continence assessment looks at bladder and bowel habits, often using a chart kept over a few days, and produces a plan. The Alzheimer’s Society notes that the NHS supplies continence products to meet individual needs, although what is available varies across the country.
In the Worthing area, the NHS Bladder and Bowel Service is run by Sussex Community NHS Foundation Trust. It offers assessment, treatment, advice and support, and accepts referrals from health and social care professionals or self-referral by phone or email. Check the service page for current details and for the team that covers your address.
If your relative is housebound, ask the GP whether the district nursing team can carry out the assessment at home.
Which continence products help?
Products should be chosen after an assessment, not instead of one. Common options include:
- Pads and pull-up pants: in different absorbencies for day and night
- Male sheaths: for some men, draining into a leg bag
- Bed protection: washable or disposable bed pads and waterproof mattress and duvet covers
- Commodes and urinals: for night-time or when mobility is limited
Many families top up NHS supplies or buy different styles from pharmacies. Continence products for personal use by someone with a long-term condition are usually eligible for VAT relief; ask the supplier. The Alzheimer’s Society’s guide to continence aids and professional support has more detail.
When can carers help with dementia and incontinence?
Paid carers can help once accidents become frequent, when the person needs help with washing and changing, or when a family carer is struggling physically or emotionally. Carers can prompt toilet visits at regular times, help with pads and changing, keep skin clean and healthy, and notice early signs of infection or sore skin.
Night-time incontinence is often the point at which families need overnight help. Our guides to continence care at home and overnight care at home explain what is involved. Visiting care in West Sussex typically costs around £28 to £38 an hour in 2026.
Continence is one of the 12 care domains assessed for NHS Continuing Healthcare. If continence needs are severe and combined with other health needs, ask whether a CHC checklist should be completed; see our guide to Continuing Healthcare and dementia.
Find care near you
Tell us your postcode and what you need help with. We pass your details to one vetted CQC-registered agency in your area — you are told who they are, and that they pay us a fee, before anything is sent.
Frequently asked questions
At what stage of dementia does incontinence start?
It is most common in the middle and later stages, but it can happen earlier, often because of a treatable cause such as a urine infection or constipation. Any new incontinence should be checked by the GP.
Can you get free incontinence pads on the NHS?
The NHS supplies continence products after an assessment, based on individual need, although the amount and range vary by area. Ask the GP or the local bladder and bowel service about an assessment.
How do I stop my mum with dementia wetting the bed?
Offer the toilet before bed, reduce drinks in the last couple of hours before sleep, cut down on caffeine, and light the route to the bathroom. A commode by the bed may help, and the GP should check for infection or medication causes.
Why does someone with dementia hide soiled clothes?
Usually from embarrassment or confusion about what to do with them. Respond calmly, check hiding places discreetly, and make it easy to change by leaving clean clothes and a laundry basket in plain sight.
Can home carers help with incontinence?
Yes. Home carers regularly help with toileting, changing pads, washing and skin care, and can visit at set times or stay overnight. Ask agencies about their experience with dementia and continence care.
The Care Panel is an independent publication. We are not a care provider and are not regulated by the Care Quality Commission, because we do not deliver care. Always check a provider’s own CQC registration and inspection report before you commit.
Written and fact-checked by The Care Panel. Last updated September 2026. Sources: Dementia UK (incontinence and dementia), Alzheimer’s Society (continence aids and professional support), Sussex Community NHS Foundation Trust Bladder and Bowel Service, NHS England National Framework for NHS Continuing Healthcare. General information, not financial, legal or medical advice — figures are indicative and subject to change.