Caring for someone with dementia: practical tips for families

Caring for someone with dementia is easier when you keep communication simple, stick to familiar routines, make the home safe and look for the reasons behind changes in behaviour. Look after your own health too: ask for a free carer’s assessment and use helplines and breaks early, not only when you reach crisis point.

At a glance

• Speak slowly in short sentences, give extra time and offer simple choices.
• Keep a diary for one to two weeks to spot triggers for distress; sudden changes can signal pain, constipation or infection.
• Good lighting, contrast, clear labels and no trip hazards make homes easier to live in.
• Anyone over 18 can ask for a free carer’s assessment; Carer’s Allowance is £86.45 a week if you qualify.
• Helplines include Dementia UK’s free Admiral Nurse line (0800 888 6678) and the Alzheimer’s Society Dementia Support Line (0333 150 3456, charged at the standard local rate).

How do you communicate well?

The NHS advice is to speak slowly and clearly in brief sentences, make eye contact, allow extra time for replies, and offer simple choices rather than complicated options. Avoid talking down to the person or mocking what they say, and acknowledge what they tell you even if it does not answer your question. Sit at their level, stay calm and watch their body language. Reduce distractions such as a loud television before starting a conversation.

Let the person answer for themselves in discussions about their own health or care, rather than speaking over them. We cover more techniques in communication tips for Alzheimer’s.

What routines and activities help?

Dementia UK advises linking activities to hobbies and interests the person enjoyed before diagnosis, letting them take an active role in choosing, and adapting tasks to their stage and abilities. Aim for a sense of purpose, routine, choice and feeling valued. Helping to set the table, folding washing, gardening, sorting photos or listening to music can all fit. The NHS suggests that sharing activities helps both the person and the carer, and a daily routine that includes walks. For ideas, see reminiscence therapy and sensory gardens.

How can you make the home safer and easier?

The NHS home-environment advice includes:

• Light: bright, even natural light; reduce glare and shadows; motion-sensing lights; a bedroom that can go fully dark at night.
• Floors and contrast: avoid rugs, which can look like obstacles, and shiny floors, which can look wet; use contrasting colours on door frames, banisters and the toilet seat.
• Labels and reminders: signs and pictures on doors and cupboards, large-display clocks showing the day and date, big-button phones.
• Reflections and noise: cover mirrors that cause distress and switch off the television or radio when nobody is watching or listening.
• Technology: alarms, movement sensors and automatic alerts (telecare), which the council may provide after a needs assessment; you may have to pay part of the cost. See key safes, personal alarms and telecare.

Ask the council for a needs assessment if adaptations such as grab rails may be needed; our guide to free equipment and OT assessments explains this.

What should you do when behaviour becomes difficult?

The NHS says behaviour changes are common in the middle to later stages and may be a way of communicating feelings or a response to frustration, confusion or an unfamiliar environment. It suggests checking whether behaviours happen at certain times, whether the home is noisy or cluttered, or whether they follow a request the person does not want to fulfil. Keeping a diary for one to two weeks can reveal patterns.

See a GP if a behaviour change is sudden, if aggression or distress is significant, or if you are struggling. The NHS notes that a consultant psychiatrist may prescribe an antipsychotic as a short-term treatment if other strategies fail. Alzheimer’s Society advises asking the GP for a medication review every year.

How do you support health and personal care?

• Arrange regular eye tests and hearing checks, as the NHS recommends even if hearing aids are worn.
• Make sure the person has enough to eat and drink.
• Let the person do what they can for themselves and protect their dignity during washing and toileting; see dignity in personal care and dementia and incontinence.
• Keep medicines organised and get regular reviews.

How do you look after yourself as a carer?

The NHS stresses that your needs matter as much as those of the person you care for. Practical steps include:

• Ask for a carer’s assessment, which is free for anyone over 18 and may recommend breaks, help with housework or training. See carers assessments.
• Register as a carer with your GP and talk to them or refer yourself to NHS talking therapies if you are struggling.
• Ask friends and family for short breaks, and look into day centres and respite care at home or in a care home. See respite care explained.
• Check benefits. Carer’s Allowance is £86.45 a week if you care for at least 35 hours a week and earn £204 or less a week after tax, National Insurance and allowable expenses, and the person you care for receives a qualifying benefit such as Attendance Allowance. See our Carer’s Allowance guide.
• Talk to others: dementia support groups, forums and helplines.

When is it time to get more help?

Consider more support if your own health is suffering, if safety risks are growing, or if needs have outgrown what family can offer. Options range from a few hours of help at home to live-in care or a care home. Read dementia care at home, live-in dementia care, when someone with dementia should go into a care home and stages of dementia care needs. Plan ahead with a lasting power of attorney while the person can still make those decisions.

Frequently asked questions

How do I talk to someone with dementia who keeps repeating themselves?

Be patient and tactful, because they are not being deliberately difficult. The NHS suggests looking for an underlying worry, such as feeling lost, and offering reassurance, and keeping an easy-to-read clock in view. Encourage them to talk about a time they enjoyed.

Should I correct someone with dementia when they are wrong?

Usually it helps to avoid confrontation. The NHS advises staying calm and avoiding arguments, and acknowledging what the person says even if it is off-topic. If a belief is causing distress, reassure first and then try to change the subject.

What can I do when the person with dementia will not sleep at night?

The NHS suggests plenty of daytime activity and daylight, a comfortable bedroom with a nightlight or blackout blinds, and less caffeine and alcohol in the evening. If problems continue, ask the GP to check for pain or other causes.

Is it normal to feel exhausted and resentful as a carer?

Yes. Carers are at higher risk of depression, according to NICE. Tell your GP, ask for a carer’s assessment, and use helplines such as Dementia UK’s Admiral Nurse line on 0800 888 6678 or Carers UK on 0808 808 7777.

Can I get paid for caring for a relative with dementia?

You may be eligible for Carer’s Allowance, or for a direct payment that pays a carer in some circumstances. See getting paid to care for a family member.

Where to get help next

Use the Attendance Allowance checker to see whether you could claim, and find care to explore support near you. Our guide to whether dementia care is free explains costs.

Sources

• NHS: Looking after someone with dementia
• NHS: Communicating with someone with dementia
• NHS: Coping with dementia behaviour changes
• NHS: How to make your home dementia friendly
• Dementia UK: Meaningful activities for a person with dementia
• GOV.UK: Carer’s Allowance eligibility

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Reviewed by The Care Panel team on 9 November 2026. This guide is general information about care in England, not legal, medical or financial advice. Rules and rates change; check with your council or an adviser before making decisions.