How to make elderly people happy: practical, evidence-led ideas

Older people are most likely to feel happier when they have regular, meaningful contact with others, things to do that matter to them, gentle activity and a say in their day. Start by asking what your relative enjoys, then make one or two of those things easy and regular, rather than planning a big change.

At a glance

• NICE recommends a mix of group, one-to-one and volunteering activities that fit local older people’s interests.
• Loneliness is a feeling, not simply being alone, so ask how your relative feels rather than counting visits.
• The NHS suggests older adults aim for some physical activity every day, even if light.
• For people with dementia, adapt favourite activities rather than stopping them.
• The Silver Line Helpline is free, open 24 hours a day and for people aged 55 and over.

What does the evidence say helps older people feel happier?

There is no magic formula, but several authoritative sources point the same way. NHS advice on mental wellbeing lists five steps: connect with other people, be physically active, learn new skills, help other people and pay attention to the present moment. NICE’s guideline on older people’s independence and mental wellbeing recommends offering a range of activities, including group activities such as singing, arts and crafts, walking and learning, one-to-one activities such as befriending and brief visits or phone calls, and volunteering.

The Campaign to End Loneliness defines loneliness as an unwelcome feeling of lack or loss of companionship, and stresses that it differs from social isolation, which is about how much contact someone has. Someone can live alone and feel content, or be surrounded by people and feel lonely. The campaign says loneliness can increase the risk of early death by 26%, which is why it matters to take it seriously.

NICE also names those at higher risk of a decline in independence and wellbeing. They include people bereaved in the past two years, unpaid carers, people living alone with little chance to socialise, people on low incomes, those who have recently developed a health problem or given up driving, and people aged 80 or over. If your relative fits one of these, put extra effort into regular contact. Our guides on loneliness in older people and companionship care for loneliness go further.

How do you find out what your relative would enjoy?

Ask, listen and offer a short choice. The Alzheimer’s Society advises starting from the person’s own history, personality and preferences, offering a few suggestions rather than many (too many options can overwhelm), and doing activities with the person instead of for them, because taking over can reduce confidence.

• Ask what they used to enjoy at 30, 40 and 50, and which of those they miss.
• Ask what part of the day feels longest, and what would make it easier.
• Look at photographs together and note what makes them light up.
• Let them say no. Taking part should be their choice.

Keep a note of what worked, so that you, other relatives and any paid carers can repeat it. See helping elderly people stay independent for ways to keep control in their hands.

How can you help with company and connection?

Regular and predictable usually beats occasional and grand. A call at the same time each day or week gives something to look forward to.

• Phone and video calls. NICE specifically recommends befriending that uses brief visits, telephone calls or other media. A tablet set up by a relative can make video calls a habit.
• The Silver Line Helpline is Age UK’s free, confidential service for people aged 55 and over, open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, on 0800 4 70 80 90. Age UK also offers free telephone friendship.
• Befriending and visiting. Many local Age UK charities arrange volunteer visitors for a chat or to go to an activity. See companionship care and befriending.
• Groups and clubs. Choose something linked to an old interest: singing, crafts, faith, walking, cards. See social groups for over-50s and day centres.
• Younger generations. NICE lists intergenerational activities, such as young people helping older people with technology or older people helping children read.

If getting out is the barrier, look at transport support before assuming they are not interested.

How can you add purpose and gentle activity?

Feeling useful matters as much as being entertained. The NHS lists helping others, including volunteering, as one of its five steps. Ask your relative to teach you a recipe, sort old photographs, plan the garden, advise on a decision or write down family stories.

For movement, NHS guidance for adults aged 65 and over is to be active every day, even if only lightly, to do activities that build strength, balance and flexibility on at least 2 days a week, and to aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate activity weekly if they are able. Light activity includes making a cup of tea, dusting and walking slowly. The NHS advises speaking to a GP first if someone has not exercised for a while or has a medical condition. For falls worries, see falls prevention at home.

NICE also suggests help to use mobile phones, internet-enabled televisions and computers, and activities linked to hobbies, education and learning. A patient lesson in video calls or audiobooks can open up a lot.

Which ideas suit which situation?

What if low mood or dementia is making this harder?

Everyone has down days. If low mood, withdrawal, poor sleep or loss of appetite goes on or starts to affect daily life, encourage a conversation with the GP, who can look for causes and point to support. Our guides on depression in older people and mental health support for older people explain what to look for.

With dementia, the aim is to keep enjoyment going. The Alzheimer’s Society advises adapting activities rather than stopping them, using visual prompts, simplifying steps, and focusing on the process instead of the result. It suggests watching for fidgeting, avoiding eye contact or irritability as signs to stop or try something different. NICE recommends offering activities tailored to the person’s preferences, and personalised activities when someone is agitated. See communication tips for Alzheimer’s and reminiscence therapy.

Frequently asked questions

What makes elderly people happy?

Evidence points to meaningful company, a sense of purpose, regular gentle activity and choice over daily life. NICE and the NHS both recommend a mix of social contact, activity and helping others. What matters most differs, so ask the person.

How do I cheer up an elderly parent who feels low?

Listen without rushing to fix, suggest one small shared activity, and keep contact regular. If low mood lasts or affects eating, sleeping or daily life, encourage a GP appointment, because help is available.

Are regular phone calls enough?

For many people they help, and NICE recommends brief telephone befriending. But they work best alongside visits or group activity where possible. Ask how your parent feels about the contact they have rather than assuming.

What if my parent refuses to join groups?

Respect the choice. The Alzheimer’s Society suggests finding something at home or online instead. Try one-to-one options, such as a befriender, a hobby at home or a short outing with someone familiar.

Is being alone the same as being lonely?

No. The Campaign to End Loneliness explains that loneliness is a feeling, while isolation is how much contact someone has. Some people live alone and are content, so ask how they feel.

Where to get help next

If your relative needs more day-to-day support, read about companionship care, the care needs checklist and caring for elderly parents. You can search for home care and companionship on The Care Panel, or use the care cost calculator to plan. The Age UK Advice Line (0800 678 1602) is free and open 8am to 7pm every day of the year.

Sources

• NICE NG32: Older people, independence and mental wellbeing
• NHS: Five steps to mental wellbeing
• NHS: Physical activity guidelines for older adults
• Campaign to End Loneliness: Facts and statistics
• Alzheimer’s Society: Activity ideas for people with dementia
• Age UK: The Silver Line Helpline

See also: How often should you visit elderly parents? A practical guide

Reviewed by The Care Panel team on 9 November 2026. This guide is general information about care in England, not legal, medical or financial advice. Rules and rates change; check with your council or an adviser before making decisions.